For Fear or Fright
By Emily Maye Sweer
I try to stay cool
I try to stay charming
But, in the end, every day,
It’s just alarming.
An alarm that goes off in my head
That tells me to stay in bed.
Not to go out, for fear or fright,
But staying in actually takes all my might.
People think this sadness is something controllable,
But sadly this feeling is just unknowable.
I’m no introvert, that much is clear.
But I also cannot find an extravert here…
She’s broken and bruised.
She’s part happy, part sad, right in the middle.
Always meh, always eh.
Go ahead, look at me without your eyes,
See with your ears, I can smell your despise.
I am paranoid; fearful that I am hated,
But, really this fear is overrated.
Nothing is clear, nothing is simple,
Everything is lost, but I am found…
Here with my thoughts.
I keep thinking, keep overthinking,
My head is in knots.
Do not try to decipher my words,
This is not a maze, there’s no way out,
I’m angry, I’m baffled that there is no cure,
Only time as treatment, that will endure
The end is just the beginning of anew.
The cycle continues, the feeling steeps through.
Like my morning coffee that I do not drink,
I bet you that I will sink…